While shepherds camped down Gipsy Hill

All seated on the ground

The Upper Norwood Band appeared

Producing their great sound

Chorus:

The Upper Norwood Band...The band

They're on their way up Westow Street

The Upper Norwood Band

A bass trombone, a flugel horn

A set of tenor horns

A cornet bench, a eupho pair

And three great baritones

...Full Band

They clipped their music in the lyre

And watched the baton drop

The trombones slid, the basses roared

They didn't want to stop

...Brave Band

The dozing sheep were sent to sleep

The shepherds gave a yawn

'Please don't disturb our morning nap

We're sleeping through the dawn'.

.Bad Band

'Try Camden Hill or Stambourne Way

They'll welcome you instead

Just leave us in our dreamy state

And rolling round in bed.'

.Poor Band

So off the band marched up the hill

Without a drum of course.

The BM shouted left and left

And ended up quite hoarse

...Sick Band

The sergeant doctor broke the ranks

To tend the ailing man

An engineer should have been called

To mend his megaphone

..Loud

Who'll pay the bill for sickly Roy

His debts mount up apace

Accountant, banker, taxman too

Insurer just in case

...Rich Band

Computer kings? The BBC

Estate agents as well

Bookbinder, guards and teachers too

They teach the band to spell

...A Band

...B Band

The band arrives at Safeway Square

Exhaustion not denied

The Major sees them and cries halt

It's time to come inside

...Tired Band

All glory be to God on high

And to the earth be peace.

The band has stopped and so have we

The time has come to cease

Final chorus:

The Upper Norwood Band...that Band

They've put their instruments away

The Upper Norwood Band

Tune: Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells

December 1988